What NOT to do on a plane- apart from eating the food
October 27th 2006 06:21
-Don’t watch scary movies about plane crashes or hijackings. I once watched a documentary about aviation accidents on the Discovery Channel before work and was stressed out for the whole flight. Even the sound of a call bell made me jump.
-Don’t drink copious amounts of alcohol. The body absorbs alcohol much quicker in high altitudes and it is easy to become intoxicated. It’s not much fun when other passengers and hosties are giving you death stares because you’re disturbing them with your shouting and staggering. And puking in your seat isn’t pleasant for you, nor will it make you popular with anyone else.
-Don’t buy duty free onboard. It’s not necessarily cheaper than at the airport. Also, you are probably suffering from hypoxia (loss of oxygen to the brain- due to being in high altitude) at the time and your purchases are likely to be of questionable taste. There are some very ugly pieces of jewelry in the duty free catalogue.
-Don’t wear your Sunday’s best on a plane in the hope of getting upgraded to business or first class. The chance of that happening is extremely slim. Stick to wearing comfy trackie daks and flip-flops in cattle class.
-Don’t press the call bell continuously unless you have been incapacitated. You are going to seriously test the patience of the hosties who may rinse their fingers in your cup of tea if you become too pesky. Instead, get off your lazy arse and walk to the galley to ask for something if you need it that desperately.
-If you insist on using the call bell, Don't expect the hostie to come back immediately and if s/he does, don't expect you will get what you asked for. After you have asked for a glass of water, another passenger will ask for a snack that doesn't contain nuts, the passenger after that will ask for 7up without ice but with a slice of lemon, the one after that will want a coffee with 3 sugars but only a drop of milk, and your request will have long been forgotten.
-Don’t even think about becoming a member of the ‘mile-high club’. There’s nothing remotely romantic about a germ-infested plane lavatory. And you will have to walk past a group of sniggering hosties waiting outside the lavatory when you attempt to make an inconspicuous exit.
Travellers or hosties out there, anything else you think should be added to the list?
-Don’t drink copious amounts of alcohol. The body absorbs alcohol much quicker in high altitudes and it is easy to become intoxicated. It’s not much fun when other passengers and hosties are giving you death stares because you’re disturbing them with your shouting and staggering. And puking in your seat isn’t pleasant for you, nor will it make you popular with anyone else.
-Don’t buy duty free onboard. It’s not necessarily cheaper than at the airport. Also, you are probably suffering from hypoxia (loss of oxygen to the brain- due to being in high altitude) at the time and your purchases are likely to be of questionable taste. There are some very ugly pieces of jewelry in the duty free catalogue.
-Don’t wear your Sunday’s best on a plane in the hope of getting upgraded to business or first class. The chance of that happening is extremely slim. Stick to wearing comfy trackie daks and flip-flops in cattle class.
-Don’t press the call bell continuously unless you have been incapacitated. You are going to seriously test the patience of the hosties who may rinse their fingers in your cup of tea if you become too pesky. Instead, get off your lazy arse and walk to the galley to ask for something if you need it that desperately.
-If you insist on using the call bell, Don't expect the hostie to come back immediately and if s/he does, don't expect you will get what you asked for. After you have asked for a glass of water, another passenger will ask for a snack that doesn't contain nuts, the passenger after that will ask for 7up without ice but with a slice of lemon, the one after that will want a coffee with 3 sugars but only a drop of milk, and your request will have long been forgotten.
-Don’t even think about becoming a member of the ‘mile-high club’. There’s nothing remotely romantic about a germ-infested plane lavatory. And you will have to walk past a group of sniggering hosties waiting outside the lavatory when you attempt to make an inconspicuous exit.
Travellers or hosties out there, anything else you think should be added to the list?
| 58 |
| Vote |
