Ode to the passenger.
November 11th 2006 02:38
You board the plane and I greet you with my hostie’s smile,
You scowl and say “I’m hungry, when are you serving food?,
You’ve not been on the plane 2 minutes,
And already you’re in a foul mood.
I’ve a million things to do and yet,
With my true hostie’s hospitality I offer you a drink,
Even though you’re so damn rude,
You could use some deodorant and your feet really stink.
So I try to avoid you but you’re waving me down,
Now you say your seat won’t recline,
I’m breaking out in a sweat to help you,
But all you do is whine.
The Captain suddenly makes the dreaded announcement,
“Sorry folks, there’s going to be a delay,
You shout and curse,
I can’t believe I have to put up with this shit without overtime pay!
Eventually the plane takes off and the meal service begins,
I offer you a choice of a chicken or beef dish,
You respond with a look of contempt,
And scream “I want fish!”
You’re lucky I don’t spit on your food,
Because I’m sick of hearing you complain,
I wish I could open the door,
And kick you out of the aeroplane.
This 3 hour flight feels like it’s taking ten,
For the umpteenth time you press the call bell,
Now you tell me you don't like the TV programs,
I wonder, why did I ever enter the world of the hostie’s hell?
I am almost in danger of losing the plot,
When finally the flight comes to an end and we say “goodbye”,
I am tempted to give you this piece of advice,
“Take the train, bus, boat- just don’t fly!”
You scowl and say “I’m hungry, when are you serving food?,
You’ve not been on the plane 2 minutes,
And already you’re in a foul mood.
I’ve a million things to do and yet,
With my true hostie’s hospitality I offer you a drink,
Even though you’re so damn rude,
You could use some deodorant and your feet really stink.
So I try to avoid you but you’re waving me down,
Now you say your seat won’t recline,
I’m breaking out in a sweat to help you,
But all you do is whine.
The Captain suddenly makes the dreaded announcement,
You shout and curse,
I can’t believe I have to put up with this shit without overtime pay!
Eventually the plane takes off and the meal service begins,
I offer you a choice of a chicken or beef dish,
You respond with a look of contempt,
And scream “I want fish!”
You’re lucky I don’t spit on your food,
Because I’m sick of hearing you complain,
I wish I could open the door,
And kick you out of the aeroplane.
This 3 hour flight feels like it’s taking ten,
For the umpteenth time you press the call bell,
Now you tell me you don't like the TV programs,
I wonder, why did I ever enter the world of the hostie’s hell?
I am almost in danger of losing the plot,
When finally the flight comes to an end and we say “goodbye”,
I am tempted to give you this piece of advice,
“Take the train, bus, boat- just don’t fly!”
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