Eau de Aircraft (Part 2)
October 24th 2006 04:39
Being in high altitude makes the body a very gaseous entity. This fact, combined with the consumption of dodgy food and carbonated drinks, makes passengers and hosties prone to releasing bodily gas- occasionally we have to ‘let one rip’ (politely termed as ‘flatus’ in the hostie’s manual). Farting is an inevitable part of the flying experience, whether you or another person is the culprit.
An ex-colleague of mine gleefully releases gas in the presence of passengers, especially those who have caused him some grief. Because hosties are never allowed to slap passengers in the face, it is his way of taking revenge on irritating people who have the audacity to press the call bell for the 10th time in 2 minutes.
Deodorising cabin sprays are available onboard for when smells become unbearable. Probably because it’s pretty stinky itself, the spray doesn’t do much to alleviate ‘eau de aircraft’. I’ve seen a hostie use cabin deodoriser to kill a swarm of flies before. The spray seemed to be quite effective in this case.
In my hostie days I wasn’t partial to airport ground staff as they are usually devoid of personality. However, on one point I did sympathise with them. They are responsible for being present at the opening of the aircraft door upon arrival to the parking bay. During the process of door opening, the concoction of odours previously trapped in the plane are liberated- B.O, foot odour, bad breath, bodily gases, vomit, human waste and greasy food.
A hostie has to put up with the same vile smells but somehow they gradually get accustomed to it after so many hours on a long haul flight. Ground staff barely have a chance to brace themselves for the overpowering stench of ‘eau de aircraft’ before it hits them without mercy.
I am currently working on a proposal to submit to the aviation authority. In the interest of public health and safety, I propose that passengers, in addition to being asked by check-in staff “did you pack your own luggage and did anyone give you suspicious items to carry?, they should be asked “are you in possession of any weapons of mass destruction such as extreme body odour, foot odour or bad breath?”
An ex-colleague of mine gleefully releases gas in the presence of passengers, especially those who have caused him some grief. Because hosties are never allowed to slap passengers in the face, it is his way of taking revenge on irritating people who have the audacity to press the call bell for the 10th time in 2 minutes.
Deodorising cabin sprays are available onboard for when smells become unbearable. Probably because it’s pretty stinky itself, the spray doesn’t do much to alleviate ‘eau de aircraft’. I’ve seen a hostie use cabin deodoriser to kill a swarm of flies before. The spray seemed to be quite effective in this case.
In my hostie days I wasn’t partial to airport ground staff as they are usually devoid of personality. However, on one point I did sympathise with them. They are responsible for being present at the opening of the aircraft door upon arrival to the parking bay. During the process of door opening, the concoction of odours previously trapped in the plane are liberated- B.O, foot odour, bad breath, bodily gases, vomit, human waste and greasy food.
A hostie has to put up with the same vile smells but somehow they gradually get accustomed to it after so many hours on a long haul flight. Ground staff barely have a chance to brace themselves for the overpowering stench of ‘eau de aircraft’ before it hits them without mercy.
I am currently working on a proposal to submit to the aviation authority. In the interest of public health and safety, I propose that passengers, in addition to being asked by check-in staff “did you pack your own luggage and did anyone give you suspicious items to carry?, they should be asked “are you in possession of any weapons of mass destruction such as extreme body odour, foot odour or bad breath?”
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