Eau de Aircraft (Part 1)
October 22nd 2006 04:24
While I’m on the subject of germs, I thought I should write about its close cousin- the pungent smells on an aeroplane, a.k.a ‘eau de aircraft’.
In my old hostie manual, there was a very boring but extremely important chapter dedicated to standards of personal hygiene. While it seems bloody obvious that one should shower and use deodorant before presenting themselves to the public, I learnt that people really need to be told these basic rules. Generally hosties are quite good about making sure they smell nice at work, although I’ve had the unfortunate experience of working with a few stinkers.
Mainly it is passengers who commit the crime of reeking to the heavens. Families who board the plane with ten screaming children in tow are tolerable, compared to a single passenger who brings along the excess baggage of body odour.
Knowing that it’s your job to keep smiling for the next 8 hours while you are in danger of being knocked down unconscious with every inhalation of someone else’s B.O, almost makes the hostie want to declare sudden illness and go home, even if it means giving up a mini-vacation to Vienna. There’s simply no escape from the revolting onion-like smells when you are stuck in a metal tube at 34,000 feet.
Another offender- feet. Passengers love to remove shoes and socks, unleashing a sickening stench which permeates throughout a plane. One passenger’s smelly feet alone can pollute an entire cabin. Even now, the smell of blue cheese revives awful memories of passengers’ smelly feet!
And one more thing. It’s hard for an outsider to understand, but being a hostie is exhausting, particularly when you work overnight. Therefore, hosties really
don’t appreciate being greeted with morning breath when waking passengers up for the breakfast service.
Are people unaware that their bodies emit smells so foul as to render a fellow human almost incapable of breathing? Don’t people have any idea they stink?
In my old hostie manual, there was a very boring but extremely important chapter dedicated to standards of personal hygiene. While it seems bloody obvious that one should shower and use deodorant before presenting themselves to the public, I learnt that people really need to be told these basic rules. Generally hosties are quite good about making sure they smell nice at work, although I’ve had the unfortunate experience of working with a few stinkers.
Mainly it is passengers who commit the crime of reeking to the heavens. Families who board the plane with ten screaming children in tow are tolerable, compared to a single passenger who brings along the excess baggage of body odour.
Knowing that it’s your job to keep smiling for the next 8 hours while you are in danger of being knocked down unconscious with every inhalation of someone else’s B.O, almost makes the hostie want to declare sudden illness and go home, even if it means giving up a mini-vacation to Vienna. There’s simply no escape from the revolting onion-like smells when you are stuck in a metal tube at 34,000 feet.
Another offender- feet. Passengers love to remove shoes and socks, unleashing a sickening stench which permeates throughout a plane. One passenger’s smelly feet alone can pollute an entire cabin. Even now, the smell of blue cheese revives awful memories of passengers’ smelly feet!
And one more thing. It’s hard for an outsider to understand, but being a hostie is exhausting, particularly when you work overnight. Therefore, hosties really
don’t appreciate being greeted with morning breath when waking passengers up for the breakfast service.
Are people unaware that their bodies emit smells so foul as to render a fellow human almost incapable of breathing? Don’t people have any idea they stink?
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